Monday, January 26, 2009


Yeah, hi. This is a section from my novel, bout halfway through. I'd like some commentary on the characters and the writing. Thanks.

"You have evoked the Right of Council, and as such I have no choice but to listen to you," Countess Alsella sat down brusquely at the head of the council, "so speak."

"My Lady," Rayenor began with a bow, "as well as all other members of the esteemed Council of Mellon, city of the Five Sisters, Beacon to the lands of..."

"Get on with it!" Bellowed one of the councilmembers.

"Very well. In short, we invoke Vae Faeug Maechūk upon two young dragons you hold here, the new breed."

There was silence as the Council dusted off their Ancient Draconic lessons. "The Law of Fair Bonding?" One ventured.

"Indeed," Rayenor grinned, "If you will look at the ancient laws laid down by our mutual ancestors, every tribe, or nation in this case, is allowed to field candidates for the first bonding of a new breed of dragon. We invoke this right."

"Get the lawbook." Alsella said. Rayenor could see the fear in their eyes. Unlike those in the service of Chegpana, these fools didn't even know the ancient laws. They would find the passage, discover its implications, and he would throw it in their smug little faces. Rayenor grinned; he would enjoy this.

A page come in with a large, old book, which he placed in front of the Countess. "Please excuse us... sir." Rayenor's grin widened at the forced nature of the title, "But this may take some time..."

"Article twenty, section five, subsection four, clause six." Rayenor recited.

"...So it seems." Alsella spat, "Very well. In accordance with the ancient law, one of your men will be present at the bonding. Now remove yourselves from the city until..."

"Actually, if would care to look at clause nine of that same section, you will find we are allowed to field as many as you do."

"Fine. We will inform you when the bonding is to take place; now get out of..."

"And if you turn to amendment one, section seventeen, subsection fourteen, you will note that it is the burden of the host to accommodate their guests, as we now are."

"Lovely. Bailiff, escort these men to the dun..."

"Guests, Alsella, not prisoners. If you look to amendment..."

"Yes! Fine! Do what you want, I'm sure you can throw some other thrice-damned section of the old law in my face to justify it! Just get out of my council chambers!"

"As you wish, Milady." Rayenor bowed, then led his men out of the chambers. He chuckled; the image of the Countess, paragon of repose and calm, exploding at him like that would sweeten his dreams for some nights to come.

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